lab telemetry
readiness meters
timeline
official maybe-history
gud tek timeline
tap a phase. redacted ones stay spicy.
leaks desk
unauthorized dossier
peek 2 learn nothing
project codename
████████ ███
ship window
Q█ 20██
classified feature
█████ ███████████
power draw
███ W + 1 jecket
benchmark suite
████ @ ████
compat list
████ / ████ / ██
field notes
what it is
gud tek. bigger than a sticker. smaller than a moon. possibly wearable. possibly rackmount. possibly both if u believe hard enough.
what it does
improves compute vibes. breaks corporate spellcheck. looks sick next 2 a jecket. may summon inturns.
what it wont do
will not fix ur portfolio. will not teach u excel. will not arrive early. emotional support only thru aura.
interrogations
faq (hostile)
Q: is this vaporware?
A: no. vaporware doesnt have a timeline. we have a timeline. it is mostly black bars. still counts.
Q: when exactly?
A: when teh inturn finishes teh powerpoint. eta: emotionally soon.
Q: can i preorder?
A: u can pre-believe. payment methods: faith, memes, possibly sol later.
Q: will it fix my fps?
A: it will fix ur aura. fps is a side effect. spelling will get worse. this is intended.
final briefing
stay tuned. stay wrong.
when gud tek drops, this page will un-redact itself (maybe). until then: wear teh jecket energy. tip teh inturn. ignore abble.